Divorce is never easy, which President Trump is finding out with his former partner in politics, Elon Musk. They are estranged to say the least. And that got me to wondering how his recent conversation went his bromance buddy Vladimir Putin. I’m thinking it went something like this:
“How’s it going in Russia these days, Vlad? I hear your inflation rate is running at 9.4%. Ours is less than 3%. Your ratings must be dropping.”
“Well, Donald, our economy remains strong, and I hear your approval ratings are falling like a rock, inside the U.S. and out. As you know, I don’t allow ratings in Russia. I’ve always liked you. Why don’t they like your tariffs?”
“I love tariffs. They will be loved in the long run, after my term is up. Not to worry, Vlad. What I do want to know, though, is why you are getting in the way of my pending Nobel Peace Prize.”
“You must be kidding me, Donnie. You just bombed Iran. That’s peaceful?”
“You know that strike will be great in the long run, Vlad. In my shoes, you would have done the same thing. We both need to look strong.”
“No question there, Donald. We understand each other. “
“Vlad, then help me with our relationship. I helped you look like a winner when I cut back on U.S. arms shipments to Zelenskyy. I was being very nice to you.
“But, lately, you haven’t been very nice to me. I asked you for a truce in Ukraine, and you ramped up your bombings of civilians there. You’re making me look bad.
“There goes my Nobel Prize.”
“Donald, you don’t want to be in Oslo in December. It’s freezing cold. Melania would not want to be seen wearing long underwear.”
“Well, old buddy, I need to save face. I promised to end the war in one day. Your record levels of drone and missile hits have forced me to make at least a head-fake and step up some previously promised munitions and weapons — all defensive, of course.”
“But, you know me, Vlad, I can always change my mind. That’s how I deal. It keeps everyone off balance. I really want that Nobel Prize. Give me a truce, even a short one.”
“You would love Mar-a-Lago. Do you golf? What’s your handicap? Because I like you so much, I’ll give you ten strokes.”
“Donald, golf is a silly game. War and empire restoration are my games. I don’t need any strokes. And I don’t give a damn about any peace prize.
“Let’s keep talking.”
